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how to do
Try creative visualization. If you do not feel like having sex, spend some time relaxing and visualizing different sexual activities you enjoy. Fantasizing is a great way to get sexually aroused.
Spend time relaxing with your partner. It is hard to switch gears from mommy mode to lover. Take some time to relax before rushing into sex. Try listening to music you both like or taking a bath or shower together.
Schedule time for sex. Spontaneous sex is ideal but when dealing with a new baby, it is not always possible. Nap times are a great time for having sex. A common problem is feeling rushed for time. Try planning bedroom get-togethers during the start of a nap.
Communicate with your partner. For example, dad may want to initiate sex when baby is crying. Rather than getting angry or turned off by this, talk to your partner. Tell him how this makes you feel. Let him know that your role as a mother is important and that you are not choosing baby over him. Good communication is the number one factor in having a great sex life.
Erogenous areas may be more awkward after baby is born. If you are breastfeeding you may feel uncomfortable or embarrassed if you have a let down or milk ejection during foreplay or sex. Talk to your partner about how he feels about this. It doesn't have to be a big deal. You can help alleviate let downs by nursing or pumping before sex. Or if you are very sensitive about this, you can discuss with your partner other places that you enjoy being touched.
Make time for sex, even if you don't feel like it. Waiting around till you feel like it may not work. Your partner may get frustrated because you had the "perfect opportunity" to fit in sex and it didn't happen. The longer you go without having sex, the less your desire will be. The actual act of having sex will help improve your sex drive.
